This is my day yesterday: I wake up at 4AM and I am feeling some symptoms of food poisoning. I'll spare the details, but I am up again at 6am! I call in sick at that point and try to get some sleep. Bernie decides to start barking at imaginary squirrels or something, I'm all but sure she is getting a little Alzheimer's, and I have to get up to shut her up. I go back to bed but the wind is blowing so hard that the noise is pretty loud and I can't sleep. So, I get up and decide to check things out because really strong wind is kind of cool if you are not in it for too long. So, I get Bernie and we hang out on the front porch, me in my Pajamas.
The sun is shining but it is still a bit cold so I decide to go back inside, however, (who invented those door locks that you can go out of but they remain locked? Like you really need these) the door is locked. So, I walk all around the house trying the back door and the windows, but no luck at all. The winds is blowing so hard that my patio chairs are tipped over and strewn clear across the lawn, and remember, I am in my pj's. I decide that I will try to get through the doggy door, into the garage to get some tools. I saw my friend Derek do it before on a similar doggy door at a party at his house, but soon I find that there is no way I can get my fat ass through, not to mention I was close to getting stuck there for a moment. I could just imagine hours of Bernie licking my face until the fire dept. got here with the Jaws of Life or something.
Now I might mention at this point there has never been a house or a car that I have not been able to get into cleanly, without breaking anything, as long as I have some tools. So, I scour the backyard for tools and I come up with the pooper-scooper scraper thing (Yes, the part that touches poop) and some cardboard from a six-pack of Gordon Biersch Marzen. Feeling a bit like McGiver now, I try my "tools" out on all the windows without much luck. I finally realize that there is a little metal piece built into the design of these windows to prevent this type of break in... but that is where the pooper-scooper scraper thing comes in. I was able to "jimmy" this metal piece away and then slide the piece of ‘six pack’ cardboard in and flick the latch... I was in!
Finally back in the warmth of the house I decide to go back to sleep and hopefully this headache and chills will go away... that is when my boss calls. "Hey, can you come in for an hour?" "No, I feel really shitty?" "Oh" "really"... I ask if “it” (there was rumor of a dot com bomb in the works) happened and she said yeah. I said I would come in tomorrow and clear out. So at this point, I am wide-awake, but for some reason not too upset. I have thoughts of going to Thailand to hang with Liz and Josh, lying there on the beach, drinking lemon drops, etc…By the way L&J, this is going to happen now for sure, I am looking into flights and trying to find my damn passport. So, I decide to put on some music and I am actually feeling not too bad, when the power goes out. Some tree fell up on Alameda de Las Pulgas (I love putting that street name into my stories) and knocked the power out for 4 hours.
Hope your day was better!
