This land is your land
This land is my land
From the Gulf or Siam
To Leo’s “The Beach” sand
From the underage hookers that try to catch your eye,
To some seriously good Tom - kar - gai.
Ok I know that was bad, but if you have some time to read this before your Dot Com closes its doors, feel free to keep reading my ramblings on my trip to Thailand.
So what can I say after spending an unplanned month in Thailand, I was only planning on a touristy two weeks. I guess I can say I was not really prepared for regular travel, the kind of travel that makes you feel not as much a tourist, but more like a surveyor of all things Thai if you will. I did manage to break the tourist feel time and again by attaining some good solid experiences with others who were also trying to be what I consider travelers, not tourists.
I went on this trip, wanting to meet people that are interesting, as interesting as well um, Me! Ok I am joking here, but a friend of mine puts it that way and when you hear it from the lips it does not sound as conceited. Ok let me put it like this, I think that for me the best thing about travel is meeting people, hopefully interesting folks. I would not say that I was planning to go travel to meet people as interesting as the two guys from Roto Rooter that are here cleaning out my toilet. Not that these guys are not interesting on a certain level, but I grew up with these guys (not literally) they are more the types to spend summer after summer at Lake Havasu drinking Bud, judging wet T-shirt contests, and getting really nice sunburns everywhere other than their well tanned arms and necks.
Ok, so the trip started off good in a way, even though there was a delay, and I had an unintended stay in Japan. Met a couple cool folks from Santa Cruz who were also on my delayed flight and staying in the same hotel so we ate dinner and talked about lots of cool things and stuff. I then got into Bangkok the next day with a jump on the jet lag because of my welcomed unintended layover in Japan. I was very ready to go out with my good Friends Liz and Josh Nugent, and Mike Stacy. (For those of you who don’t know Mike Stacy, I met him in 95’ when I first decided to be a consumer of alcohol at age 28, needless to say, Mike with his “Liver extraordinaire” soon became responsible for 3 of the 4 times I have become sickened by alcohol) Liz & Josh, have been known to party as well, so going out with the three of them pretty much ensured a ‘full go’ night, and a lot of fun in general.
We took a pretty typical tour of Bangkok, complete with a great Thai dinner, a lot of beer, and then a little peek at the sex industry. There we saw some more things and stuff, and had more beer. I must say, and guys I’m not saying this to score points with the gals like I am some super sensitive guy, but I was not too impressed and almost sickened a few times at some of the sights; which was the indicator is was time to leave, even though Liz did not want to go yet. Soooo, without going into too much detail of what went on that night, there were blow darts being fired at balloons (landing on customers like Liz and Mike) and frogs and fish…. That is all I am going to say, so use your imagination!
The next day was spent going to a Thai wedding with Mike. The food at the wedding was incredible, except for the Ox skin soup. I was fully enjoying my third helping of Tom Yam Kung when I accidentally bit into a Thai chili that was lurking behind a mushroom. I have never had a reaction to a chili like this, but I really could not breath for about two seconds, then I coughed the contents of my mouth back out onto my plate as tears shot down my face, increasing in size as they combined with the sweat beads that were also forming. My tongue felt as if I had received some sort of chemical burn. After I stopped sweating, I did manage to finish my soup, this time under closer inspection of every spoonful. The memory of this soup is still so damn good that the act of writing this is making me salivate.
Later that day I went on an urban hike taking pictures of street life in Bangkok. I was amazed at the ancient methods of construction going on in a fairly modern city. Little kids shoveling sand into buckets that were tied to ropes and then hauled up as high as three stories with the hand over hand technique. I was also amazed at streets just lined with vendor after vendor. Some vendors were sleeping and some were standing, all very non-aggressive compared to say Mexico. Kids were everywhere as well, spending the long hours on the streets selling items like flowers, or helping their parents with their stands. There is a theme or motto going on in Thailand, and I think I coined a way to describe it, “You are responsible for your own safety, your own continuance of life”. You figure this out right away when you leave the airport and you see 2 year olds riding on the front of motorbikes, with their little hands gripping the handlebars, next to mom’s hands, holding on for dear life. I also learned that one little motorbike seats a family of 5. No more than 5 mind you, because there is a law in Thailand prohibiting that. The typical motorbike is not much bigger than what some of us would refer to as a moped. By the end of my trip I was on the alert to see and photograph 5 people on a bike, I only saw it twice, and I did not get a photo. The first week there I was shocked to see 3 and 4 people on a Motorbike… but at some point during my quest to photo 5 people on a bike, I was no longer amazed, and I actually started believing that Thai’s were being very selfish or wasteful if they were riding a motorbike with less than 3 people on it.
So Pattaya or Jomtien Beach is where my friends Liz and Josh now live and that was my new home base. From here Liz and I would do little day trips and errands or get massages or drink beers on the beach. We did not plan too much and we would just do… Highlights here were the Sri Racha Tiger zoo, taking a Hobie Cat out in the Gulf of Siam by ourselves, going to Monkey Mountain, a trip to a village where they specialize in granite carving (I bought a kick ass Mortar and pestle) oh and of course my Thai cooking class.
Most of ya’s know that I like to cook and stuff and this class was interesting to say the least. The class teachers consisted of a Thai Chef, who spoke broken English, his helper, and the European Cuisine Chef, a funny English guy who did not seem a big fan of the Thais, and who really seemed to be operating on some hidden agenda. The students were 3 older gay gentlemen from Scandinavian countries and me; the students and I had a great time discussing our own wonderful cooking gadgets we owned back home, the best countries to eat beef, how great Thai food was, etc…. These guys were a trip, one was following recipes exactly, another guy was just throwing in way too much cilantro, which the English Chef called Coriander and the Thai chef called Thai Parsley…(the English guy was quite amused when I told him in the US we call it cilantro) and the third student seemed quite content to watch… perhaps that was his role ;) Thailand was warm and humid this time of year… and the kitchen was at near sauna levels of heat and humidity, not unlike the men’s restroom at Left at Albuquerque in Palo Alto. So before becoming too dehydrated I managed to prepare Tom Yam Kung and Tom Kar Gai. The quirky English chef then decided that I, not the others, would get to prepare a third dish, and that was Thai sweet and sour Pork. I am still trying to figure out why I was chosen to create a third dish, but I was glad nonetheless.
Another highlight was taking off for Ko Samui for 9 days. I had planned to spend a couple of days in Phuket as well, but missed my flight due to illness. Let me tell you the food is damn good, but it can mess you up in a jiffy if you are not careful. If I can describe in just three words why you want to be careful: A C U T E I N F E C T I O U S B A C T E R I A!!! This is something you do not want to get while you are there. It will not go away on its own and you should probably go to the hospital if you become too dehydrated. The night before I went to the hospital I am pretty sure I reached cramping pain that rivals the pain of giving birth to a child, and in my delirious state of pain and high fever I would not have been surprised if the creature from Alien was lurking in me, ready to tear through my stomach with huge gnashing teeth.
Well that is enough of that; Ko Samui is this beautiful Island with great folks and good nightlife as well. I ate at The Deck most nights, and became instant friends with Ang, the manager. An English gal from Newcastle that seemingly grew up fast and street smart. She showed me some cool places to hang and gave me some great insight on leaving everything you consider that makes up your life, and starting over in a beautiful exciting land like say…Thailand. On Samui I also became friends with this Norwegian Guy, who I will call Ernie because I never was able to say his name. The Norwegians have a sound they make that basically requires curling your tongue into a Celtic knot while pressing it against your front teeth and making what we would consider an “R” sound. So Ernie and I hung out a bit, he is a real caring brilliant guy, but sadly enough a complete alcoholic. At one point he told me that the biggest loss in his life was when his dad died in 92’, I hope he slows down on the drinking… you get the picture.
Another highlight for me was eating with groups of locals, like at the wedding I went to. Thais do it up when it comes to a feast, especially when someone’s company is picking up the tab. I had Dinner with Liz and Josh and 10 of his co-workers one night and we easily had 11 different dishes on the table, times two. We had a whole poached fish with lemon and herbs, we had prawns the size of small lobsters, funky crunchy little fishy ball things, Boon Fi dang, (one of my favorites), and much more that I can’t remember right now, probably due to all the Nam soda and Chivas. Nam means water and soda is well um soda; the combo seems to be a Thai favorite, so when in Rome or Klaeng…. we would drink Chivas and soda. The subtle difference from the US is that there is not a lot of scotch in the glass and the rest is all soda. It is like a scotch-flavored soda water and it proves to be quite refreshing and I believe it helps keep you hydrated in this hot humid environment.
To top off the night we all sang Karaoke. Sukool was the crowd favorite, he is a chubby man with cherub like features accented by rosy cheeks, and a permasmile that results in his eyes being nearly closed. Sukool had me laughing hard at his jokes all night; and it really did not matter if he was telling his jokes in English or Thai, or if he was breaking into some sort of air guitar routine to Def Leopard, there was just something about him that made people laugh. I have always thought part of being funny is looking funny, and I believe that my laughing at his jokes told in Thai cemented this theory in my mind, or perhaps it was all the Nam soda and Chivas responsible for my laughter.
Overall Thailand is a great place to go visit, play, etc. Thailand also seems like it is very livable, even for us Pharongs or foreigners. I will definitely be back at some point and now I know exactly what I will do the next time I go because there was so much I did not have time for… Next time, however, I will go as a traveler, not a tourist!
